My Climb Out Of A Spiritual Slump

I can't believe that it has been 3 years since I have blogged! Where does time go...honestly?

A lot has happened while I was away. In August of 2014, we bought our first home! I really have enjoyed making it our own. In June of 2015, we found out we were pregnant shortly after returning home from a vacation to New Zealand and Tahiti. In September, we found out it was a little girl! In October, we went to Peru and stayed at the Treehouse Lodge that my dad built. In November, we went to California with Weston's family for Thanksgiving. On March 2, 2016 we welcomed our baby girl Noa into the world. A day I will never forget! She is almost 1 year old now and that is mind-blowing to me. We love her with all of our hearts. That was a super fast-forwarded version of what I've been up to, but there you go!

I don't know how I feel about myself as a blogger. I don't have anything incredibly profound to say. I don't have a perfect life. I am blessed beyond measure, but it's not perfect. I have been praying to my Heavenly Father and asking what I can do to find my purpose. I am also learning to listen to promptings and follow-through, no matter how bold I need to be. Tonight after I prayed, I listened. For a long time. The only thing that came to my mind was, "Write a blog post." I was slightly confused. I don't have anything to write about. I have hardly any followers. But I'm doing it! I am willing to do what Heavenly Father needs me to do and I am willing to be what He needs me to be. I am in His hands.

I'm going to be vulnerable in this post. That is scary to me...especially on the internet. But, this is my life and the things I am experiencing.

I have found myself in a spiritual slump and I'm ready to climb out of it.

A combination of many things have led to me to where I am now. I have not proactively worked to nourish and strengthen my testimony. I miss too many daily scripture readings. I forget to say my prayers too often. I juggle my little girl during relief society and don't catch all of the lesson. To say the least, I am ready to find my burning testimony again!

I have the most amazing mom! If you know her, you love her. It's as easy as that. She bought my sister Morgan and I tickets to Time Out for Women in Layton this past weekend. If you have never been to a time out for women, (and you're a woman), GO! It was life changing for me! I left feeling buoyed up and ready to change. The speakers gave us so many resources to arise and become the best we could be. I noticed each of the speakers had one thing in common, and it struck a chord with me. They all were great communicators with Heavenly Father and sensitive to His promptings. I want to be that. So I'm working on it!

For a moment during the Saturday session, I started to feel incredibly overwhelmed. These people were amazing. I am nowhere near how amazing they are. They serve without fear, are kind, and stand up for others. Their lives seem so balanced and I'm sure they never miss a scripture study or prayer. I have all these ideas of how I want to my life to look and feel. I just don't even know where to start. I have WAY too much to work on. In fact, there really isn't anything that I'm really good at.

So I made a list. I'm a list kind of person. I love the feeling of crossing things off. Confession...occasionally I will add things to my to-do list that I've already completed, just so I can cross it off. Ok, that's really embarrassing. Maybe I'll delete that. But it's the truth.

I made a list of the qualities and scenarios that I wanted my life to encapsulate. I decided that I would choose one of those things and focus on it for a week, then choose a different one the next week, and so on and so forth. I plan on documenting my progress on this blog. If I do have anyone reading this...do it with me! It's just a little experiment, but I feel hopeful about it.

One of the things I wrote on my list was to strive to have a clean home where the spirit can dwell. I'll admit, cleaning is not a strength of mine. When my house gets really messy, I get overwhelmed, and don't know where to start. (I'm seeing a pattern here.) My laundry piles up, and I'm not the best at making my bed. But I love nothing more than how I feel when my home is clean. My mind feels clear, I can relax, and Weston comes home from work in a much better mood. So my goal is to set my timer for 15-30 minutes each night after Noa goes to sleep and to do a quick pick-up. That's it. I think I can do it!

I'll be back in a week to report how it went!

Our 2nd Anniversary and Conference Weekend!

On Monday September 30th Weston and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary! I just don't know where the time went, but I do know that I love Weston more and more everyday. I am so grateful for every minute we have to be together. In the beginning of August, Weston and I were down in Lake Powell with my family and some amazing family friends that I've known for as long as I can remember. All 12 of us were in a terrible accident when our ski boat hit a submerged island. We so quickly lost my sweetest friend's husband. It was something none of us were prepared for and completely turned our worlds upside down, especially my friends. Please keep her in your prayers. In that moment, my life was forever changed....for the good. My testimony was strengthened more than I can put into words because of the life David led and because of the enormous love and tender mercies the Lord provided for us. I realized how precious life is and how blessed we are to have another day to serve the Lord, become better, and show our love. I do not believe is coincidences. Everything that happens is part of Heavenly Father's plan! I am so unbelievably grateful that we chose to be sealed in the temple. It means more to me now than it ever has before.

This last weekend was General Conference. It is one of my favorite times of the year. Especially this year. For almost every Conference we spend the weekend at my cabin up in Eden. There's just something wonderful about fall time up there. I love being cozy and warm, seeing the lake and fall leaves, and spending time with my friends and family. Nothing beats it! I am so grateful to live so close to living prophets and apostles. Isn't it incredible? I loved hearing their inspiring words and leaving with a newfound sense of enthusiasm and motivation to be a better person.

My Thoughts As A Woman In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

I recently read the blog post of a girl I went to high school with. I was left feeling so sad and upset.

The post was about how she believes men and women in the LDS church are not equal. As I read down the page, I grew more and more mad inside. I wanted so badly to write a response and tell her how I felt. Deep down, I knew I wouldn't be able to argue with her. It would not help anything. She is entitled to her own opinion. When I finished reading, a few tears ran down my face. This time out of sadness. I sincerely felt sorry for her. At the same time, my testimony was strengthened. I knew the things she said were not true and I was even more proud to be a woman in the church.

To vent my frustrations, I decided to write this blog post about my thoughts as a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

This girl starts out by mocking girls who get married young. Well...that is me. To get married young was never my plan. I graduated high school, was open to meeting a lot of new people, and had big plans to go to nursing school and possibly beyond. I never thought I would be "one of those girls". I had been taught my whole life to establish myself first, then settle down once I was a little older. Then one day, when I least expected it, Weston walked into my life. We started hanging out as friends at first, went on a few dates, and before I knew it, I was completely drawn to him. I just knew that I never wanted to be without him. That is when I started to get scared. I would often think things like: I'm only 19 years old, I'm not ready for this, what will everybody think? I prayed, fasted, studied, and pondered harder than I ever had before. One night, I had the most incredible spiritual experience of my life. I just knew that it was time for me to marry Weston. Heavenly Father had a plan for me, and that plan was to get married at 19 years old. After that moment, I moved forward and didn't look back. I wasn't afraid anymore. Our marriage has been so sweet and such a blessing. Of course we have our ups and downs, but not once have I thought to myself, "I wish I would have waited until I was a little older". Weston is the greatest blessing of my life, and I'm grateful for the extra time I get to be with him because we got married at a younger age.

In another part of the blog post she questioned why men and women had to split up to go to priesthood and relief society. She mockingly said that men go to learn how to use their priesthood and women go to learn how to raise children, support our men, be nurturing, and how not  to have the priesthood. She was upset because our given power that is equal to the priesthood is childbearing. She proceeded to question why our special gift is our uterus...just a body part. This is the part that bothered me the most. There is nothing more I want in life than to be a mother. I believe that our ability to give bodies to those sweet spirits in heaven, bring them into this world, and be their mother, is one of the greatest blessings we can be given. The fact that a woman can carry a baby and give birth is such a complex, incredible blessing. Our bodies are amazing. So many things have to happen just perfectly to bring a child into the world. All of the right hormones need to be released at the right time, the baby needs to be in a certain position, our body needs to be able to stretch as the baby grows and develops etc. etc. In my opinion, it is not just a body part, it is an incredible body part. I absolutely love my job.  I get to see the joy a baby brings as they join their family here on Earth. There is nothing like it, and it often brings tears to my eyes.

I am so grateful that my husband is a worthy priesthood holder. He brings such a sense of peace and protection into our little home. He is the greatest blessing of my life. I have never felt inferior to him. I feel that we have very different, yet equal responsibilities and blessings.

I am so grateful to be a woman in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Best Job In The World!

I have the best job in the world! I get to work with newborn babies. It has brought me some of the most amazing experiences of my life. I am so blessed to be able to be there when these precious little babies come into the world. I immediately feel so much love and can never help myself but to get a little teary-eyed. I can just see in the parents faces how these little ones changed their lives in an instant. I can see the love they have for their baby on their faces. Last night, I got to work all through the night with some of these newborn babies. I was able to give one little girl her first bath. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen and I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little bit the whole time. First, I washed her body and we'll just say she wasn't very happy with me. She started to cry and her whole little body went bright red. After I finished rinsing her body, I wrapped her up in a warm towel to help get her body temperature back up. She stopped crying, and stared at me with big bright eyes! I held her little body on my forearm with her neck resting in my hand and rinsed the hair on her head. I put shampoo in and used a little brush to massage it into her hair. Her little eyes rolled into the back of her head...she absolutely LOVED it! Haha It was the cutest thing ever! She tried to keep staring at me, but her little eyelids got heavy. I absolutely love working with these tiny babies! Sometimes I ask them, "Is there a little one up there waiting for me?" They never answer, so maybe it's not time yet.  ;)

Six Month Mark!

We've were married six months ago yesterday! I am just as crazy about Weston as I was in the picture above, if not more so! I love him more than words can describe. We had just a fun day yesterday! The first thing we did in the morning was our weekly weigh in. I guess I better fill you in about that. Me, Weston, my sister Morgan, my mom, and my aunt did the biggest loser between the 5 of us for  a month. We each put in $20 and whoever had the highest percentage of weight loss won. Yesterday was the final weigh in. It turns out Weston and I both lost 5% of our body weight and won! (Shhh don't tell, but I actually won with 5.03% Haha) We both decided that we don't have $40 to throw away so we HAD to win! It all worked out! :) After that I took my parents and little brother to the airport. We're meeting them in Phoenix on Sunday before we fly to COSTA RICA!! I can't wait! When I got back, Weston and I went to sunshine cafe. Best place on earth! If you go, order the magic pancake, a giant pancake filled with oats and brown sugar. It's not on the menu, but it IS to die for! After that we went to Target to find me some shorts for our trip. We spend a lot of time in target because of all the gift cards we got for our wedding. So great! That night was the highlight of my day! I'll give you a little background info. Last week, Weston and I spoke in our new ward. Our topic was Face the Future With Faith by Russell M. Nelson. I talked about a woman named Stephanie Nielson. If you don't know who she is, you need to read about her! She is such an amazingly inspirational woman! Here is her mormon message!

Now you get an idea of how amazing she is! Anyways, so as I was doing research, I found out she had written a book. I immediately went to Deseret Book and they didn't have it. It didn't come out until April 3rd. I was so sad because I wanted to read it on our trip. Later, I came to find out that the book comes out early in Utah! And not only that, she was doing a book signing in Deseret Book in Salt Lake City! So that's exactly what we did! She is the sweetest person in the world! I am so glad that I got to meet her!! 

I Love Kids!!

Ok so last night we went to Chili's with our friends and then hung out afterwards! They showed us a couple videos that I almost died over!! I absolutely love kids and this made me so excited to have my own!! (Not anytime soon by the way!)

This first one is about these two little boys! Jimmy Kimmel told moms to tell their kids that they ate all of their halloween candy during the night. These cute little boy's reactions are adorable! I felt so bad for them! You are a SNEAKY mom!!!

This next one is about this little girl and her big surprise for her birthday! This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I cried when I watched this haha

My two best friends right now! (Besides Weston of course!)

My two best friends right now are my spinner bike and my Lose It app! These two separately are great but combined they are amazing! 

The Lose It app is basically a calorie tracker. First it calculates how many calories you should eat a day. You log everything you eat and it keeps track of all of your calories. One of the coolest things is that it has a barcode scanner so you know the exact calories you're eating! It has had the exact calories for everything I have scanned so far! So neat! Here is a picture of an example I found!

So it shows you exactly where you're at every day! It also lets you log all of your exercise and how many calories you burn! I love this thing!!

This spinner bike is amazing! I use it for for 45 minutes to an hour a day and burn about 600 to 800 calories! I love it! You can plug your phone or ipod in the top and headphones down below. It also charges your phone so that's a plus! It keep track of your calories, speed, distance. It shows you exactly what to do. There is a knob that adjust the resistance. You can watch cycling videos, TV, or your music! The best part is that it has air conditioning! See the little blue fan up there? Yep that's it! Beautiful!